Margaritas with Guacamole and Chips: It’s not too late for this Classic Combo

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Margaritas satisfy year-round. Pair them with guacamole and chips.

Summer winds down, temperatures start to dip a little, yet we still crave Margaritas. Pondering this craving, we’ve come to the conclusion that the balance of sweet, sour, and that one-of-a-kind complex fruity earthiness that we encounter from the moment we open a bottle of tequila until the last sip is the cause of our happy addiction.

No two tequilas are alike. Those distilled from agave plants grown on higher ground, as in the Sierra Madres of Jalisco, take on a smoother, perhaps sweeter more floral, profile, whereas agave grown in lowlands at the base of an old volcano will surely impart more minerality to your drink, making it smokier, drier.

This also means your margarita might taste different than your amigo’s. When we make margaritas at home, we first assess our silver tequila and then choose our triple sec based on what it’s saying to us. For a lighter tequila, such as the wildly popular Patrón, we look for a triple sec that has a bright orange flavor if its abv is 40%. Combier fits this bill nicely; it reminds us of rubbing sugar cubes on the side of a fresh orange. For a more mineral-tasting tequila, such as Herradura, we may reach for the Cointreau, which combines a rich simple syrup taste with fresh orange zest. And, if we’re looking for a less alcoholic margarita, perfect for a party, we reach for the Hiram Walker triple sec, which comes in both 15% and 30% abv versions. Lately, we’ve been mixing triple sec: half Combier and half Cointreau. Call it sacrilege, call us crazy, but we find that the balance of orange and lime makes the drink supremely easy to sip and lovely.

And, speaking of limes, they must be the freshest you can find. When you cut into a lime, that powdery limey perfume should hit your nostrils and make you want to take in more. The color should be bright with no dull edges. Some tipplers like a lot of lime juice, and we have had margaritas that have boasted the same amount of lime juice as tequila, with simple syrup or agave substituted for triple sec, and have enjoyed them with gusto. But for pairing with some nibbles, we’ll stick with our classic 3:2:1 ratio: 3 parts tequila, 2 parts triple sec, 1 part lime juice.

Pairing margaritas with party food is a joy because the citrus opens up the taste buds and tames the alcohol burn that can accompany sipping spirits with appetizers. It’s so difficult to stop eating guacamole and chips when you’re imbibing a redolent margarita, the combo making you swoon with delight. Make some quesadillas, slice them pizza-style, and top with your favorite salsa and a dollop of sour cream. Easy. Enjoy.

To watch our video, pairing margaritas with guac and chips, click here.

Margarita
(adapted by Cocktail Buzz)

Ingredients
1 1/2 ounces (3 parts) silver tequila
1 ounce triple sec
1/2 ounce fresh lime juice
sea salt, in a little mound on a plate
lime wedge
ice

Method
Gently rim a highball or double-rocks glass with the pulpy side of a lime wedge. Then dip the rim and outside of the glass in the salt mound and turn the glass, so the salt hugs the glass (careful not to get salt inside the glass). Fill the glass halfway with ice.

In a shaker filled with ice combine the tequila, triple sec, and lime juice, and shake for 15 seconds. Strain into glass. Garnish with a lime wedge, if this pleases you (you may wish to forgo the garnish with a large party if you’re feeling overburdened).

Guacamole & Chips
(created by Cocktail Buzz)

Chips

Ingredients
4 6-in. diameter corn tortillas, cut into six wedges per tortilla
olive oil
salt lightly

Cut tortillas into six wedges per tortilla, and spread over a cookie sheet. Spray or brush lightly with olive oil. Salt lightly. Bake at 400°F. Check every few minutes as oven times vary, as can thickness of tortillas. May take between 10–20 minutes.

Guacamole

Method
1 ripe avocado
1 shallot, chopped
1 garlic clove, minced
1 tablespoon fresh lime juice (or lemon)
1 teaspoon chili powder
salt
pepper
1 tablespoon cilantro (optional)

Method
Combine first seven ingredients and mash, but keep slightly chunky. Stir in cilantro. If not serving immediately, add the pit to mix and cover with plastic wrap pressed into mix to keep green color.

photo © Steve Schul, Cocktail Buzz

The Real Brandy Old-Fashioned { paired with smoked eel hors d’oeuvre }

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Lemon-Lime soda is the key to success in this blessedly simple and tasty drink.

Try this experiment: Ask someone tending bar to make you a brandy old-fashioned. What may get placed before you will most likely be brandy (or cognac) subbing for rye in this iconic drink. Not necessarily bad (a complex brandy would make all the difference), but if the bartender handed this drink to a Milwaukeean, and told them what it was, she would take a sip then look at the bartender quizzically. That’s because to your average Wisconsinite, the brandy old-fashioned is more like a highball, with a generous amount of lemon-lime soda and a few extra dashes of Angostura bitters added to the mix. And during a Milwaukeean’s Friday Night Fish Fry, when brandy old-fashioneds are poured faster than Laverne & Shirley can get into trouble, you would be hard-pressed to find another type of cocktail in someone’s hands (and if you did, you can bet they’re not from Milwaukee).

Steve’s dad recently visited us, and for this former Milwaukeean, brandy is the king of spirits. Practically the only spirit. So we made sure we had a bottle of Asbach, a German brandy, waiting for him. It’s one of our favorites, with its rich, smooth taste, and almost buttery aroma. So making some brandy old-fashioneds seemed apt. The only problem was, we had no lemon-lime soda, and the various apps we prepared for cocktail hour were already laid out.

Paul found a bottle of ginger ale in the fridge and quickly deemed it an acceptable substitute. So instead of just ginger ale, we decided to sweeten it up with some simple syrup (but not too much). After garnishing with a half-moon orange slice, and a cherry or two, we raised our glasses, took some big sips, and dug in to the grub.

One of the stand-out pairings wasn’t so much of a shock, but unique in that the food was unusual: smoked eel. A little piece of this rich, unctuous fish goes a long way. Place a piece on a rich, buttery cracker, or a thick-cut potato chip, dab with a bit of mustard, then take a bite. Sip your brandy old-fashioned and relish the mingling of sweet and smoke.


The woody flavors in the smoked eel hors d’oeuvres pairs perfectly with the sweet brightness of a smooth brandy old-fashioned.

Brandy Old-Fashioned
(adapted by Cocktail Buzz)

Ingredients
1 1/2 ounces brandy (try Asbach)
3–4 dashes Angostura bitters
3–4 ounces lemon-lime soda
1/2 tablespoon simple syrup
orange slice, lemon twist, and cherry (in any combination), as garnishes

Method
Stir the brandy and bitters (and simple syrup if you are using ginger ale) in ice for 15 seconds. Strain into an ice-filled double-rocks or highball glass. Top with soda and give a little stir. Add garnishes, preferably speared with a bartender’s straw.

Variation
If using ginger ale instead of lemon-lime soda, use 1/4–1/2 ounce simple syrup, and after mixing, top with 3–4 ounces ginger ale.

Smoked Eel Hors D’oeuvre

Ingredients
1 medium smoked eel, skin and spine removed, cut into bite-sized pieces
buttery crackers, or thick-cut potato chips
Dijon or sweet and spicy mustard
Muenster, or other white cheese, sliced
cream cheese (optional)
fresh dill (optional)

Method
Place a slice of cheese and a piece of eel on a cracker or chip. Add mustard (and other condiments, if using). Note: If your eel seems dry from over-smoking (this usually happens when the eels are thin), chop it up into small pieces and spoon a little bit onto the cracker or chip.

A word about eels

These beautiful fish, so sleek and snakelike, are born in the middle of the ocean and when they are tiny and glassy, make their way to shores across the globe, establishing homes in the estuaries of bays, and farther inland, to live out their lives, until it’s time to return to the ocean to spawn, then eventually die. Some eels can live up to a hundred years, if they are lucky enough to avoid weirs and, worse, man-made dams.

Eels are the third most eaten fish in the world. The Maori of New Zealand revere the eel. It is godlike and respected. The Japanese are addicted to glass eels and pay a high price for shipping to their shores. Those of us who like Japanese cuisine probably have eaten unagi sushi, with pieces of succulent, slightly sweet eel, one of Paul’s favorites. Paul also grew up eating fried eel prepared by his grandmother. Much to his mom’s chagrin, his grandmother would take the eel and wrap its mouth around the spigot of the faucet, and flay it. After cleaning it, it got a dusting of flour and bread crumbs, then into the frying pan. Simple. Delicious. For the squeamish, we recommend an easier approach. The worst you may have to do once you’ve decided on serving smoked eel is to skin it (easy, if it’s not overly smoked), fillet one half by running a knife down the length of the eel just above the spine, then remove the spine. Wash your hands afterward with some lemon juice to get rid of the smokiness. A little work, yes, but the rewards are priceless.

photos © Steve Schul, Cocktail Buzz

Celebrating the Aloha Spirit with Pisco Sours

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Sharing Pisco Sours on a rainy November night in PÄ�hoa, on Hawai‘i.

We just spent a week on the Big Island of Hawaii, soaking up the local flavors of its largest city, Hilo, with our friends Matthew and Danny. They own a farmhouse (it’s gorgeous and rentable) in the one-road-in-one-road-out town of Pahoa, just south of Hilo, where lava and alterna-hippie-anything-goes attitude flow freely. The region beckons you with extremeness: 99.99 inches of annual rainfall, in-your-face lush tropical foliage and the smells from ripening fruit, black sand beaches from past volcanic activity, and the glow from Kilauea’s hot maw rising like the proverbial Phoenix, reminding us that life is ever-changing and full of new beginnings.


Channeling the Aloha Spirit, courtesy of Paul on the bongos, and Danny cranking up Don Ho.

Matthew and Danny love to cook and mentioning the word cocktail to them brought instant smiles. You see, they were eager to open their pristine bottle of pisco puro they recently brought back with them from another extreme land, Peru. Deciding on what to make was easy. We would indulge in the classic Pisco Sour.

But, first a word about pisco. Simply put, it’s a grape brandy, usually made from a single variety of grapes, that has been aged for a minimum of three months in vessels that cannot alter its chemical properties (glass and stainless steel work very well to accommodate these stipulations). Some other piscos, called acholado (half-breed) are distilled from the must of several varieties of grapes. Still delicious, but different. (We make a Pisco and Tonic using an acholado that is a must-try.)

While Danny and Steve were out looking for a bottle of Angostura bitters in the torrential (we do not use this word lightly) downpour, Matthew and Paul couldn’t wait and cracked open the bottle. The smell was light, almost of sweet hay, and the flavor, exceptionally smooth, tasting of light acidic fruit. Matthew readied the blender and Paul chose the eggs (fresh from our friends’ backyard chickens) allowing them to come to room temperature before the other guys returned with the Grail. A note to our readers: You cannot make a successful Pisco Sour without the addition of bitters (some may disagree, but believe us when we say it adds needed depth). If it means scouring every corner store in your locale, then by all means gas up your car, make sure the stores are open, and go get it!


Matthew and Danny’s farmhouse, in PÄ�hoa.

Making a Pisco Sour can be a little messy, we’re not going to lie, because of the addition of egg white in the mix. Getting egg whites ultra-frothy can be likened to exercising with a shake-weight. If you don’t have a blender, you’ll definitely improve your triceps. But just follow our simple recipe below, and you’ll eventually get the hang of it (we’re assuming you’re going to fall head over slippahs for the Pisco Sour, with its slightly sweet, slightly tart smoothness flowing over your tongue, so you’ll be getting lot of practice).

When the drinks were blended and poured into some cute vintage rooster glasses (Matthew and Danny are the proud owners of two loud cocks), we raised a toast to friendship, took our first sips, and licked the barm from our lips and mustaches. Ahh, so satisfying. A few sips later, as we were enshrouded by the white noise of rain pelting the fertile earth, we raised our glasses again and spoke of new beginnings.


Pisco Sour
(adapted by Cocktail Buzz)

Serves 2

Ingredients
5 ounces pisco (try a puro)
1 1/2 ounces lime juice (you can use lemon juice as well, or a combination of both)
1 ounce rich simple syrup*
egg white from 1 large egg
8 ice cubes
Amargo Chuncho (traditional) or Angostura (widely available) bitters

* In a sauce pan over low heat, dissolve 1 cup sugar (preferably demerara or turbinado) in 1 cup water, stirring occasionally until all crystals have dissolved. Let cool and transfer to a clean, airtight container. May be kept in refrigerator for up to a month.

Method
In a Boston shaker (do not use a shaker with a removable strainer, as it will allow gas to build up and force the top to separate from the main vessel) add the pisco, juice, simple syrup, and egg white and shake vigorously for about a minute until the mixture gets slightly frothy. Then fill with ice and shake again vigorously for another minute. Strain into glasses. Add bitters drop by drop (four makes for a tasty pisco sour).

Alternatively, for a frothier drink, add the egg white to a blender and mix until foamy. Then add ice, and crush until it breaks up well. Then add the pisco, juice, and syrup and blend until smooth (or as smooth as you can get it—not all blenders are made equally). You will have a lot of froth. Pour into glasses and add bitters drop by drop. Drag a toothpick through the drops to create pretty patterns.


Come to think of it, the garden salads that Danny is famous for went well with the Pisco Sours. The addition of avocado added creaminess.

Now Is the Time to Imbibe a Daiquiri

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The luminescence of a classic Daiquiri will light up your night.  
Ask anyone from the North Pole to Tierra del Fuego about the Daiquiri, and she will probably say, “I love Daiquiris. I drink them all the time.” Chances are the version she’s drinking is a frozen Daiquiri, and perhaps one with strawberry, banana, or some fruit other than just lime tossed into the blender. This is fine if you like slushy drinks. (Slushy drinks are enjoying a cocktail renaissance at the moment and, during these dog days of summer, may be just what the doctor ordered!) But we’re here to proffer a less noisy interpretation of the original Daiquiri, one that doesn’t involve worrying about having enough ice in the freezer, or a blender that is sturdy enough to grind it to fine crystals; one that goes back to its roots as one of “six basic cocktails” according to David A. Embury is his seminal mid-20th-century classic The Fine Art of Mixing Drinks.

In his recipe, he mixes two ounces of rum with a half ounce of lime juice, and a quarter ounce of simple syrup, making the finished product a little tart to the uninitiated. No offense to Mr. Embury and his mandate for imbibing pre-prandial drinks on the drier side, but the palate has changed thanks to the disco era’s swirl of cavity-inducing cocktails, and as a result, we crave drinks a little sweeter. But don’t worry, we only use a tablespoon of sugar per drink, which is double the amount Mr. Embury decrees. (And if you wish to keep with tradition and invoke his recipe to the letter, by all means do. It is your drink, after all, and we won’t mind one iota.)

What we discovered when trying to come up with the perfect recipe for the Daiquiri, one that would work with a variety of party food, isn’t really the amount of sugar or light rum in the drink, but the quality of the lime. Pick the freshest one you can find, one so fresh that, when you cut it in half, the oils from the peel mix with the pulpy juice and instantly hit your nose with the smell of its fresh limy essence. After you toss some wedges into a mixing glass along with the white sugar crystals and muddle the heck out of the pair, you will be left with the most delicious juice possible. The oils are released from the sugar crystals abrading the lime peel, and they dissolve in the chartreuse-colored juice.

But what about the strangely spelled name daiquiri? Where does it come from? A little Web-sleuthing reveals that the name derives from Daiquirí (die-key-REE), a beach and an iron mine in Santiago, Cuba, where it was putatively invented by American mining engineer Jennings Cox, who happened to be in Cuba at the time of the Spanish-American War. As the twentieth century progressed, and relations with Latin American countries, such as Cuba, prospered, rum consumption grew, and the Daiquiri, as well as all things Latin American, spiked in popularity.

Although perfect for any time of year, summer feels rather appropriate for a Daiquiri. The commingling of juice and oil from the limes lends itself to rather remarkable food pairings, especially Guacamole with Chips, and Shrimp Cocktail. ¡Salud!

Daiquiri(adapted by Cocktail Buzz)
Ingredients
2 ounces light rum
1/2 lime
1 tablespoon sugar

Method
Cut the lime into wedges and add to a shaker. Sprinkle sugar on top. Muddle vigorously, extracting all the juice from the lime, allowing the sugar to dissolve. Add rum and ice. Shake for 15 seconds and strain (or double-strain if you do not want any tiny stray bits of lime pulp – although, if serving with party food, the little lime pulp bits may add flavor nuances) into a chilled cocktail glass or coupe.

Pairing Suggestions
Guacamole and Chips
Shrimp Cocktail

photo © Steve Schul, Cocktail Buzz

Two New Cocktails for a Headmaster and His Pupil

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aka the Marriage of Bulleit Rye with Fernet-Branca

A few months backs when we visited Providence, Rhode Island, we were chatting with artists Matthew Lawrence and Jason Tranchida over some strong Bulleit rye cocktails. When they asked us to come up with a signature cocktail for their art and literary magazine Headmaster, we jumped at the opportunity. We love creating new drinks for events, but this one was special. Matthew declared his love for Bulleit rye, which we also adore, so we started to experiment with drinks we thought would unite the spiciness of Bulleit rye—with hints of ginger, cinnamon, and tobacco—with the themes of avuncular strength that a Headmaster evokes.

Since the New York launch would be held at Tender Trap in Williamsburg, Brooklyn (how perfect is that!), we decided to check out their stash and see what we could come up with on the fly. We espied a bottle of the bitterest of bitter liqueurs Fernet-Branca on Tender Trap’s wee shelf, and decided to start with a Manhattan variation, substituting the traditional Angostura bitters with the Fernet-Branca. What sealed the deal occurred when the lovely bartender Rebecca pulled out a bottle of Carpano Antica sweet vermouth from the fridge. If you know us, you know how much we love love love this exceptional vermouth. Serendipitously, it’s made by the same geniuses who put out the Fernet-Branca. The Fernet-Branca brings out the subtle smokiness of the Bulleit rye extremely well. The Carpano smooths and sweetens the ride, but not too smooth or sweet. This is the Headmaster after all, and the drink should be strong like a Headmaster.

But we couldn’t just create one cocktail for the Headmaster 4 party; a companion was needed, something a little lighter, for those imbibers who like some fizz and ice in their drink. That’s where The Pupil comes into play. It is definitely lighter than the Headmaster 4, but has the same Bulleit Rye/Fernet-Branca taste combo. The ginger ale, which adds the fizz, smooths it out in the way the Carpano Antica does in the Headmaster 4. Both will make you feel that little click we all seek when we bring a cocktail to our lips, ironing out any bumpy ride the day may bring. 
Headmaster 4
(created by Cocktail Buzz)

Ingredients
2 ounces Bulleit rye
1 ounce Carpano Antica sweet vermouth
1 dash/drizzle Fernet-Branca

Method
Stir in ice for 30 seconds and strain into chilled cocktail glass.

The Pupil
(created by Cocktail Buzz)

Ingredients
1 1/2 ounces Bulleit rye
1 dash/drizzle Fernet-Branca
3 ounces ginger ale
ice

Method
Add ingredients one at a time in double-rocks or highball glass the order above. Stir until chilled.

❤ ❤ ❤
Special Thanks
The cocktails would not be possible without the generosity of Bulleit rye’s World Ambassador Hollis Bulleit. She hooked us up with Jim Ruane at Diageo so the partygoer’s could delight in the Headmaster 4 and Pupil.

The Headmaster 4 launch party is 10 p.m. tonight, Sept. 27, 2012, at Tender Trap, 245 S. 1st Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn, NY. The Providence, R.I. launch party is Oct. 7, 2012, at Dark Lady, 17 Snow Street. 

BIG EASY: Cirque Dreams Holidaze

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For anyone who’s a Cirque du Soleil aficionado (or at least a fan), if you attend a Cirque Dreams Holidaze performance this week at the Mahalia Jackson Theater, you’ll know right away that it’s no Saltimbanco or Alegria. Gone are the foreign languages and super eccentric musical scores and freaky clowns and the slightly aloof air of sophistication of many of the other shows.

Naturally!

Because this is not your run-of-the-mill Cirque show. Its holiday themes are designed to capture adults’ and children’s attention with a more accessible wonderment. That’s not to say that the performances are anything but astonishing. While this kinder, gentler production is probably more palatable to a wider audience, it still has the “Whoa!” and “Wow!” factors. Both of which I uttered more times than I can count.

Throughout the show, an international cast of over 30 artists demonstrates feats of strength and balance, magical illusions, soaring vocal performances, and of course, there are the elaborate costumes, props and set design. There are daring penguins, fearlessly flipping gingerbread men, dancing trees, giant candy canes, and a whole lot of people whose sole purpose, I’m convinced, is to remind me that I’m sorely lacking in any sort of physical talent, stamina or flexibility. I feel confident, however, that I could do a bang-up job as one of the guys with sparkly cornucopias on their heads who always look astonished and do “ta-da” hands after someone does something amazing.

Maybe I can run away and join the circus afterall!

But, I digress. Get your tickets soon -- I'm sure they're in short supply!

Cirque Dreams Holidaze is at New Orleans’ Mahalia Jackson Theater through this Saturday,
Christmas Eve. The performance schedule:

Wednesday, December 21, 2011 at 8:00pm
Thursday, December 22, 2011 at 8:00pm
Friday, December 23, 2011 at 2:00pm & 8:00pm
Saturday, December 24, 2011 at 2:00pm

For tickets, click here or call 800-982-ARTS(2787).

Enjoy!

BIG EASY: Enter the Dragon: Restaurants for celebrating Chinese New Year in New Orleans

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I don’t want to brag, but I once threw a baby shower with a Chinese New Year theme -- for a Catholic girl of German-Irish heritage. I’m about as far away from being Chinese as she is, but I’ve always had an unnatural affinity to this holiday. Go figure. Anyway, in case you didn't know, we’re approaching the 4709th Chinese year, which begins on January 23rd, ushering in the Year of the Dragon. This means excitement, unpredictability, exhilaration and intensity. It’s supposed to fill us with energy, vitality and unbridled enthusiasm! Money is supposed to be easier to come by, so it’s a good time to start a new business or project of any sort. I’ll take it! Let’s ring in this new year!

Apparently, New Orleans once had an actual Chinatown on the 1100 block of Tulane Avenue, but much of this block have been shuttered since Hurricane Katrina. And none of the Chinese churches or cultural societies I contacted have any festivities or celebrations planned this year.

What? New Orleans is missing an opportunity for a parade and festival?! Someone needs to look into this...

But, never fear, we’ve got some tasty Chinese establishments to satisfy our celebratory needs with saucy stir fries, sumptuous dumplings, and such. Maybe you've been blessed with children who have adventurous palates? Lucky you.

Here are five of the top Chinese restaurants in New Orleans to visit or from which to order to celebrate this auspicious occasion:


1. Five Happiness (Mid-City)
3605 S Carrollton Ave
New Orleans
(504) 482-3935

2. China Doll Restaurant
Harvey
(504) 366-1111

3. Hot Wok
901 Veterans Memorial Blvd
Metairie
(504) 831-3328

4. Chinese Tea Garden (Gentilly)
2170 Filmore Ave
New Orleans
(504) 282-1493

5. China Rose (Fat City)
3501 N Arnoult Rd
New Orleans
(504) 887-3295

(Originally posted on GoNola.com)

BIG SCREEN: A Dangerous Method

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Ever found an amazing recipe that seemed like a slam dunk? You buy all the best ingredients – the freshest herbs, the choicest cuts of meat, the finest wine to pair with it – but it just results in… meh?

That’s sorta how I felt about A Dangerous Method.

So, the story… it gives us a glimpse into the volatile relationship between psychological pioneers Carl Jung (Michael Fassbender) and Sigmund Freud (Viggo Mortensen), which developed in the years leading up to World War I in Zurich and Austria. Along comes a really, really disturbed patient named Sabina Spielrein (Keira Knightley), who becomes one of the first female psychoanalysts, but only after drawing her doctor, Jung, into a sexual relationship that completely screws up his sensibilities and further complicates his relationship with Freud.

According to the official studio synopsis: “Sensuality, ambition and deceit set the scene for the pivotal moment when Jung, Freud and Sabina come together and split apart, forever changing the face of modern thought.”

Sounds titillating and thought-provoking and fascinating, no?

Knightly’s performance is certainly adequately disturbing and extreme, but everyone else gets lost in (I’m guessing) an attempt to remain overly understated, stifled, restrained. A tension-building technique? Snore.

Mortensen’s, well, Freudian relationship with his ubiquitous cigar is pretty much the most notable part of his performance. And I kept waiting for Fassbender to explode or implode or pretty much do anything not subdued.

Not their faults, though. A so-so script and dull direction at the hands of festival darling David Cronenberg (Crash, History of Violence) are to blame, says me. Give me new insight into Freud and Jung… illustrate how revolutionary their concepts were for their time… make me believe in or become excited by any one of these relationships! But, alas, it wasn’t meant to be.

Sadly, with all the fabulous ingredients -- great actors and cool subject matter and costumes and such – it comes up rather bland. Lukewarm. Needed salt. And maybe a shot of Tabasco.

BIG EASY: 'Disney’s The Lion King' Theater Revieux (with special guest revieuxer…)

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Okay, so Les Bon Temps Mom was not feeling very bon on Friday, the night Disney’s The Lion King, presented by Broadway in New Orleans, opened at the Mahalia Jackson Theater for the Performing Arts here in New Orleans. So, Les Bon Temps Dad took our 6-year-old son, who is making his debieux today, as Les Bon Temps Boy.

It sounded like a good idea at the time. However, getting his feedback was a little like trying to eat Jell-O with chopsticks. But, let’s give it a shot. Take it away, LBT Boy…

When we got there, we were kind of early. We had to wait about eight hours for the show to start, but I got a Capri Sun and a goody bag with pretzels and fruit snacks. That was good.

So, you somehow entered a timewarp, but managed to score awesome refreshments. Got it. Do go on.

Then we got to our seats, and they started playing music, and giraffes and birds and a “hunormous” elephant came marching in from behind us. They were puppets. Some looked real, and some didn’t. I could see the strings sometimes. They really need to work on getting invisible strings.

Duly noted.

When asked to elaborate on the puppets, his description became more show than tell, with a whole lot of pantomime and sound effects, so LBT Dad had to step in with a more coherent explanation. Much of the puppetry involves mechanical headpieces and large, elaborate costumes that require tools, and often more than one person, to move all the parts. A little research revealed that the techniques they use are Bunraku Puppetry from Japan, and shadow puppetry from Indonesia.

Okay, back to LBT Boy. Let’s hear about the story…

Simba’s dad (Mufasa, the king) is trying to teach him how to be a lion, but everyone laughed when he tried to roar. His uncle (Scar) was a bad lion who kills his father. Simba was trying to climb up to get away from a herd of wildebeests. His father came to help, but the uncle stabbed him with his claws and made him get run over. I didn’t like that part.

Simba’s uncle tells him it’s his fault his dad died, so Simba runs away. His new friends are a hog (Pumba, the warthog) and a little tiny guy with a hairy head and a hairy bottom (that’d be Timon, the meerkat), and he grows up. And his friends teach him to say “potato potata” (he either meant ”hakuna matata,” or the production has gone Gershwin, which I would enjoy). He went back and met his girlfriend and they kissed! Oooooh, we can’t have girlfriends at school! Then Simba got to be king.

Excellent. So, the storyline is easy to follow. And PDA is discouraged in kindergarten. Good to know.

I didn’t need to ask about his favorite part, as he interjected it into his synopsis (which I edited out, you're welcome) about every minute-and-a-half. Apparently, there is a monkey who occasionally pops in to shake its bottom or swing across the stage. LBT Dad informed me that this took up about 30 seconds of the entire show, but, if the level of hysterical laughter is any indication, it will be the highlight of LBT Boy's oral review to his schoolmates. And a letter home will likely follow.

How ‘bout some final words from LBT Boy...

What did you like least about the show?

When Simba’s dad died.

What did you like best? Besides the monkey.

I liked the music and the lights and the costumes.

Would you go see it again?

No. It was too long.

But , would you recommend it to your friends?

Yes!

Why?

Because they’d really like to see the monkey shaking his bottom!

Sigh. Jell-O and chopsticks, folks.

The Lion King is at the Mahalia Jackson Theater through April 15. Despite LBT Dad’s hilarious impression of LBT Boy’s frequent fidgeting and brief nap, they both gave the show high marks, overall. At almost 2 ½ hours (with a 15 minute intermission), perhaps the show runs a little long (especially the 8pm shows) for some kids. Maybe try an earlier show and/or stick with kids over 8. Go here for ticket information.

BIG SCREEN: Meet the Inspiring Talent Behind Louisiana's "Beasts of the Southern Wild"

To contact us Click HERE

I honestly believe that non-natives to South Louisiana provide some of the best perspectives on the unusual, unwieldy, slightly unsettling vibe of this region. And it helps when those non-natives are sort of kooky, creative types with keen powers of observation, and a genuine affection for this place.

The makers of Beasts of the Southern Wild, an independent film that’s been winning film festival awards and getting lots of great industry buzz, took on the rather daunting task of trying to convey the strange and remarkable undercurrent of energy that truly separates this region from the rest of the country, with pretty impressive results. Just as the movie's co-writer, Lucy Alibar suggests, “It’s cinematic, completely visual, and sensory. It does everything that only a movie can do.”

Shot in Terrebonne Parish using local, first-time actors, it’s the story of a young girl named Hushpuppy who lives in a remote, fictional swamp community at the very tip of Louisiana, called The Bathtub. Her mother has long since abandoned her, and her alcoholic, ailing father (Dwight Henry, owner of the Buttermilk Drop Bakery and Café in Mid-City, New Orleans) uses a tough-love approach in preparing his daughter for his death and an impending storm, which is threatening to decimate their home.

At first glance, theirs is a filthy, harsh, bizarre existence, but as the story progresses, with the help of Hushpuppy’s insightful and colorful narration, and a rather unconventional filmmaking style, we begin to appreciate the amazing outlook that the lifestyle and culture has afforded this little girl. It combines mythological elements (prehistoric cave paintings that come to life) with ecological considerations (the destruction of Louisiana’s wetlands, thanks to disruptive levees) and existential ponderings (Hushpuppy often contemplates the unraveling of the fabric of the universe). The outcome is a very primal, yet sort of high-concept representation of the region. Does that sound obtuse and pretentious? Sorry, it’s a multi-layered film that’s a bit hard to describe!

Luckily, I got the chance to speak with the filmmaker, his co-writer, and the star of the movie just before the New Orleans premiere. Each add some much-needed humanity to my clumsy attempt at a synopsis.

After a little prodding, Quvenzhané Wallis, the spunky eight-year-old from Houma, Louisiana, who plays Hushpuppy, sheepishly admits that like any normal kid, she’d rather be spending time with her Yorkshire Terrier and family at home. But she politely responds to a question about the grueling post-production marketing campaign (which has included press junkets and trips down the red carpet in Cannes, L.A., and now New Orleans) by happily chirping, “I want to be positive, it’s all been great and beautiful!”

When I first met Quvenzhané, known as “Nazie” to friends and family, she had casually plopped herself in the director’s lap, and remained there while we chatted. This may sound a little sketchy on paper, but it was actually quite sweet, as Behn Zeitlin is a youthful, moppy-haired 29-year-old who seems more like her big brother than the boss who made her traipse around the swamps for seven weeks.

On the subject of filming the movie, she says, while grinning and hugging Behn’s neck, “It was not boring with this director! And I liked all the animals, except the pig. He was big and fat,” she admits, seemingly struggling to stop herself from holding her nose, as though indicating a possible pork-based hygiene issue would be rude. “And I’m used to the swamp, but I’m not used to the mosquitoes – all the mosquitoes! We don’t have mosquitoes like that in Houma!”

Mosquitos weren’t the only challenges they faced during filming. Guess what oil well in the Gulf of Mexico exploded during day-one of production! Considering the storyline of the movie, I wondered what effect the timing of the BP oil spill disaster would have on the production.

“It definitely felt like life imitating art. It was eery,” Behn explains. “We didn’t want to make a political movie or anything that was about the science of (Hurricane Katrina) or a call to action, but more of an emotional experience of living through an environmental catastrophe.”

And there it was. Right on cue.

Benh has been friends with his co-writer, the aforementioned Lucy Alibar, since they were 13 years old, so their decision to collaborate was an easy one. For this project, they decided to combine elements of Lucy’s imaginative, Southern gothic play, Juicy and Delicious, which is based on her own struggle to come to terms with her father’s declining health, with Behn’s short film, Glory at Sea, which is about a mysterious man who gets people to build a boat using Hurricane Katrina wreckage to rescue loved ones lost at sea. To gain a little insight during the writing process, they moved into a Terrebonne Parish fishing village to observe the language and the general vibe of the locals.

Lucy is a sunny, thoughtful young woman who uses her whole body to speak. When describing her experience in Louisiana, she gets a distant look in her eyes and seems to channel the tides, making wide, fluid motions with her arms. “I had never been to Louisiana before, but it felt like home,“ she admits. Then, she sums up the locals’ style of communication thusly, “They give you the whole world when you ask a simple question.”

Behn conveys a similarly esoteric, feel-don’t-think approach when describing the production. “We cast as we wrote, and we kind of let actors rewrite their roles. We tried to let places and people that are in the film breathe and speak for themselves, and not bring in preconceived notions. We were just trying to… stay back and not force any ideas.”

In speaking with both Benh and Lucy, you can’t help but recognize the heartfelt fondness they feel for this region. Benh has made New Orleans’ Bywater neighborhood his permanent home, while Lucy admits that she’s never felt like a true New Yorker, and she wants to move to New Orleans, as well. I wondered how two writers from New York could connect so quickly and deeply with South Louisiana, then I discovered, they both have roots in the South. Behn’s mom is from South Carolina, while Lucy is originally from South Georgia.

Ah, therein lies the basis for the connection. South Louisiana is like the foreign-born cousin to the Deep South. It’s definitely its own country, but with some decidedly familial Southern threads.

As unique and somewhat odd as it is, Beasts of the Southern Wild probably won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but those who get it, will really appreciate the affection with which this film was made. It taps into and conveys the indescribably energy that locals are born with, and so many of us transplants are so excited to discover.

Beasts of the Southern Wild opens at The Theatres at Canal Place and Prytania Theater on July 4.

BIG SCREEN: A Separation Revieux

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I knew relatively little about A Separation when I walked into the screening. I knew it was an Iranian movie that had won the Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film the night before, but that’s pretty much it. Given what’s going on in that region of the world, I assumed this would be a highly political film, but nothing could be further from the truth. What a pleasant surprise.

A Separation is the story of an Iranian couple in the midst of crisis. Simin, the wife, wants to move abroad, while the husband, Nader, feels compelled to remain in Iran to care for his father, who lives with them and suffers from Alzheimer’s. They reach a total impasse, and things get ugly. Caught in the middle is their bright and sensitive 11-year-old daughter, who is obviously suffering under the strain of the contention.

As the strife escalates, Simin moves out, and a series of terrible events leads to even more legal and emotional distress for all involved.

It’s definitely a well-written, beautifully acted, heartbreaking story, but what elevates it, in my book, is its raw humanity. There’s no political message, no agenda. It completely transcends any cultural differences, making it totally relatable.

Hm, we may not be as different as we thought? What a concept.

I know a lot of people are turned off by foreign films and their subtitles, but man – it’s such a great opportunity to get some new perspective on other cultures, beyond the rhetoric and actions of their politicians. It ain’t gonna settle any international disputes, but a little artistic common ground and a little objectivity couldn’t hurt.

A Separation opens today at Canal Place Theatres.

BIG EASY: 'Disney’s The Lion King' Theater Revieux (with special guest revieuxer…)

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Okay, so Les Bon Temps Mom was not feeling very bon on Friday, the night Disney’s The Lion King, presented by Broadway in New Orleans, opened at the Mahalia Jackson Theater for the Performing Arts here in New Orleans. So, Les Bon Temps Dad took our 6-year-old son, who is making his debieux today, as Les Bon Temps Boy.

It sounded like a good idea at the time. However, getting his feedback was a little like trying to eat Jell-O with chopsticks. But, let’s give it a shot. Take it away, LBT Boy…

When we got there, we were kind of early. We had to wait about eight hours for the show to start, but I got a Capri Sun and a goody bag with pretzels and fruit snacks. That was good.

So, you somehow entered a timewarp, but managed to score awesome refreshments. Got it. Do go on.

Then we got to our seats, and they started playing music, and giraffes and birds and a “hunormous” elephant came marching in from behind us. They were puppets. Some looked real, and some didn’t. I could see the strings sometimes. They really need to work on getting invisible strings.

Duly noted.

When asked to elaborate on the puppets, his description became more show than tell, with a whole lot of pantomime and sound effects, so LBT Dad had to step in with a more coherent explanation. Much of the puppetry involves mechanical headpieces and large, elaborate costumes that require tools, and often more than one person, to move all the parts. A little research revealed that the techniques they use are Bunraku Puppetry from Japan, and shadow puppetry from Indonesia.

Okay, back to LBT Boy. Let’s hear about the story…

Simba’s dad (Mufasa, the king) is trying to teach him how to be a lion, but everyone laughed when he tried to roar. His uncle (Scar) was a bad lion who kills his father. Simba was trying to climb up to get away from a herd of wildebeests. His father came to help, but the uncle stabbed him with his claws and made him get run over. I didn’t like that part.

Simba’s uncle tells him it’s his fault his dad died, so Simba runs away. His new friends are a hog (Pumba, the warthog) and a little tiny guy with a hairy head and a hairy bottom (that’d be Timon, the meerkat), and he grows up. And his friends teach him to say “potato potata” (he either meant ”hakuna matata,” or the production has gone Gershwin, which I would enjoy). He went back and met his girlfriend and they kissed! Oooooh, we can’t have girlfriends at school! Then Simba got to be king.

Excellent. So, the storyline is easy to follow. And PDA is discouraged in kindergarten. Good to know.

I didn’t need to ask about his favorite part, as he interjected it into his synopsis (which I edited out, you're welcome) about every minute-and-a-half. Apparently, there is a monkey who occasionally pops in to shake its bottom or swing across the stage. LBT Dad informed me that this took up about 30 seconds of the entire show, but, if the level of hysterical laughter is any indication, it will be the highlight of LBT Boy's oral review to his schoolmates. And a letter home will likely follow.

How ‘bout some final words from LBT Boy...

What did you like least about the show?

When Simba’s dad died.

What did you like best? Besides the monkey.

I liked the music and the lights and the costumes.

Would you go see it again?

No. It was too long.

But , would you recommend it to your friends?

Yes!

Why?

Because they’d really like to see the monkey shaking his bottom!

Sigh. Jell-O and chopsticks, folks.

The Lion King is at the Mahalia Jackson Theater through April 15. Despite LBT Dad’s hilarious impression of LBT Boy’s frequent fidgeting and brief nap, they both gave the show high marks, overall. At almost 2 ½ hours (with a 15 minute intermission), perhaps the show runs a little long (especially the 8pm shows) for some kids. Maybe try an earlier show and/or stick with kids over 8. Go here for ticket information.

BIG SCREEN: October Baby Revieux (PG-13)

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October Baby is the story of a 19-year-old girl named Hannah (Rachel Hendrix), whose world is turned upside down when she discovers the terrible circumstances surrounding her birth. Not only was she adopted, but she is the product of a failed abortion attempt. Determined to make sense of it all, she embarks on a road trip with her best friend, Jason (the adorable Jason Burkey), to find her birth mother and uncover the whole ugly truth. And, yes, it gets even uglier. Despite the agony she endures, she emerges with a profound capacity for forgiveness and compassion.

I was so pulling for this to be a good movie. The concept of a young girl coming to grips with such an unimaginable revelation is compelling and intriguing. Handled correctly, it could be a beautiful, multi-dimensional story that could override any pre-conceived political or morals leanings. There are some genuinely touching moments sprinkled throughout the movie, but, unfortunately, it’s really poorly executed. Which is a shame.

The acting’s not bad, the production quality isn’t either, but the screenplay is a mess. First of all, the reason Hannah finds out about her birth is because she collapses during a school play, and her doctor and parents (John Schneider and Shari Rigby) finally decide to explain the reason for the litany of health issues that have plagued her all her life: she was severely premature.

This seems like basic information they could have shared with her long ago, but okay, proceed. While sitting rigidly apart from their daughter in a sterile doctor’s office, her parents also blurt out that she was adopted. And, oh yeah – your birth mother tried to abort you. Call me crazy, but this seemed totally unnecessary and cruel from a parental point of view. The adoption part probably should have been broken to her in the comfort of their home, in a tender and loving way. And the abortion part probably could’ve been left out. Oh my gosh, what possible reason could you have for telling your child this? I’ll tell you why, because the screenwriters were too lazy to come up with a more creative way for her to find out.

Another odd little element in this scene occurred when the doctor was leading up to the big revelation. He tells her that this terrible truth is the common denominator for all her illnesses and the emotional distress that led her to write about self-hatred and borderline suicidal thoughts in her journal.

Wait, what? Were they saying she suffered emotional scars from the failed abortion? I chose natural childbirth, which wound up leading to a very traumatic labor and delivery for my son – are they saying the circumstances of a child’s birth could damage them psychologically for life? Good grief, I’d like to see the research on this. Actually, no I wouldn’t. But thanks for planting that troubling concept in my head, and for distracting me from the central message of the movie.

As Hannah sets off on her journey to find her birth mother, there are some glaringly silly distractions along the way. Like when, on two occasions, they get into serious trouble with the law, but are let completely off the hook by police officers who melt like butter when Hannah blurts out her story. A little too convenient and unlikely. I mean, points for setting out stumbling blocks for our protagonist to overcome, but deductions for the lame resolutions, or lack thereof. Oh, and did I mention that the same girl who was in constant contact with her inhaler for the first ten minutes of the film, and who was just released from an overnight stay in the hospital, is miraculously healthy and strong throughout the rather grueling trip?

Like I said, there were some genuinely touching moments in the movie, and it had some real potential. Hendrix did a good job of conveying Hannah’s agony. At times, I sort of bought the father-daughter connection (which is more than I can say for mother-daughter one). The relationship between Hannah and Jason is quite sweet, and Jasmine Guy certainly turns in a strong performance in her brief but pivotal role. But, overall, it felt like a sloppy after school special. It wasn’t overly preachy or political, but it didn’t feel authentic -- like the writers took too many shortcuts.

I’m all for a movie with a positive message, but how about take the time to finesse a plausible and well-structured screenplay to support that message? It will probably play well to a limited audience (mainly teen girls, and maybe some parents), but I think they wasted the opportunity to appeal to a wider audience. Which is a shame.

October Baby opens at AMC Elmwood Palace in Harahan on Friday, March 23.

BIG SCREEN: Meet the Inspiring Talent Behind Louisiana's "Beasts of the Southern Wild"

To contact us Click HERE

I honestly believe that non-natives to South Louisiana provide some of the best perspectives on the unusual, unwieldy, slightly unsettling vibe of this region. And it helps when those non-natives are sort of kooky, creative types with keen powers of observation, and a genuine affection for this place.

The makers of Beasts of the Southern Wild, an independent film that’s been winning film festival awards and getting lots of great industry buzz, took on the rather daunting task of trying to convey the strange and remarkable undercurrent of energy that truly separates this region from the rest of the country, with pretty impressive results. Just as the movie's co-writer, Lucy Alibar suggests, “It’s cinematic, completely visual, and sensory. It does everything that only a movie can do.”

Shot in Terrebonne Parish using local, first-time actors, it’s the story of a young girl named Hushpuppy who lives in a remote, fictional swamp community at the very tip of Louisiana, called The Bathtub. Her mother has long since abandoned her, and her alcoholic, ailing father (Dwight Henry, owner of the Buttermilk Drop Bakery and Café in Mid-City, New Orleans) uses a tough-love approach in preparing his daughter for his death and an impending storm, which is threatening to decimate their home.

At first glance, theirs is a filthy, harsh, bizarre existence, but as the story progresses, with the help of Hushpuppy’s insightful and colorful narration, and a rather unconventional filmmaking style, we begin to appreciate the amazing outlook that the lifestyle and culture has afforded this little girl. It combines mythological elements (prehistoric cave paintings that come to life) with ecological considerations (the destruction of Louisiana’s wetlands, thanks to disruptive levees) and existential ponderings (Hushpuppy often contemplates the unraveling of the fabric of the universe). The outcome is a very primal, yet sort of high-concept representation of the region. Does that sound obtuse and pretentious? Sorry, it’s a multi-layered film that’s a bit hard to describe!

Luckily, I got the chance to speak with the filmmaker, his co-writer, and the star of the movie just before the New Orleans premiere. Each add some much-needed humanity to my clumsy attempt at a synopsis.

After a little prodding, Quvenzhané Wallis, the spunky eight-year-old from Houma, Louisiana, who plays Hushpuppy, sheepishly admits that like any normal kid, she’d rather be spending time with her Yorkshire Terrier and family at home. But she politely responds to a question about the grueling post-production marketing campaign (which has included press junkets and trips down the red carpet in Cannes, L.A., and now New Orleans) by happily chirping, “I want to be positive, it’s all been great and beautiful!”

When I first met Quvenzhané, known as “Nazie” to friends and family, she had casually plopped herself in the director’s lap, and remained there while we chatted. This may sound a little sketchy on paper, but it was actually quite sweet, as Behn Zeitlin is a youthful, moppy-haired 29-year-old who seems more like her big brother than the boss who made her traipse around the swamps for seven weeks.

On the subject of filming the movie, she says, while grinning and hugging Behn’s neck, “It was not boring with this director! And I liked all the animals, except the pig. He was big and fat,” she admits, seemingly struggling to stop herself from holding her nose, as though indicating a possible pork-based hygiene issue would be rude. “And I’m used to the swamp, but I’m not used to the mosquitoes – all the mosquitoes! We don’t have mosquitoes like that in Houma!”

Mosquitos weren’t the only challenges they faced during filming. Guess what oil well in the Gulf of Mexico exploded during day-one of production! Considering the storyline of the movie, I wondered what effect the timing of the BP oil spill disaster would have on the production.

“It definitely felt like life imitating art. It was eery,” Behn explains. “We didn’t want to make a political movie or anything that was about the science of (Hurricane Katrina) or a call to action, but more of an emotional experience of living through an environmental catastrophe.”

And there it was. Right on cue.

Benh has been friends with his co-writer, the aforementioned Lucy Alibar, since they were 13 years old, so their decision to collaborate was an easy one. For this project, they decided to combine elements of Lucy’s imaginative, Southern gothic play, Juicy and Delicious, which is based on her own struggle to come to terms with her father’s declining health, with Behn’s short film, Glory at Sea, which is about a mysterious man who gets people to build a boat using Hurricane Katrina wreckage to rescue loved ones lost at sea. To gain a little insight during the writing process, they moved into a Terrebonne Parish fishing village to observe the language and the general vibe of the locals.

Lucy is a sunny, thoughtful young woman who uses her whole body to speak. When describing her experience in Louisiana, she gets a distant look in her eyes and seems to channel the tides, making wide, fluid motions with her arms. “I had never been to Louisiana before, but it felt like home,“ she admits. Then, she sums up the locals’ style of communication thusly, “They give you the whole world when you ask a simple question.”

Behn conveys a similarly esoteric, feel-don’t-think approach when describing the production. “We cast as we wrote, and we kind of let actors rewrite their roles. We tried to let places and people that are in the film breathe and speak for themselves, and not bring in preconceived notions. We were just trying to… stay back and not force any ideas.”

In speaking with both Benh and Lucy, you can’t help but recognize the heartfelt fondness they feel for this region. Benh has made New Orleans’ Bywater neighborhood his permanent home, while Lucy admits that she’s never felt like a true New Yorker, and she wants to move to New Orleans, as well. I wondered how two writers from New York could connect so quickly and deeply with South Louisiana, then I discovered, they both have roots in the South. Behn’s mom is from South Carolina, while Lucy is originally from South Georgia.

Ah, therein lies the basis for the connection. South Louisiana is like the foreign-born cousin to the Deep South. It’s definitely its own country, but with some decidedly familial Southern threads.

As unique and somewhat odd as it is, Beasts of the Southern Wild probably won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but those who get it, will really appreciate the affection with which this film was made. It taps into and conveys the indescribably energy that locals are born with, and so many of us transplants are so excited to discover.

Beasts of the Southern Wild opens at The Theatres at Canal Place and Prytania Theater on July 4.

BIG EASY: Adventure Quest Laser Tag

To contact us Click HERE

People are often waxing nostalgic for the good ol’ days. Y’know, for a simpler time, when we weren’t obsessed with electronic devices, and when a birthday party meant inviting kids over for cake, ice cream, and pin the tail on the donkey. And while I agree that we need to occasionally shut off the smartphones and engage with our families, I am REALLY glad the current trend is to pay someone else to host my kid’s birthday parties!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a working mom who has to budget both time and money. I’m not some Real Housewife of New Orleans, who throws elaborate parties that cost more than a mid-sized sedan. I’m just talking about the kiddie arcades and bounce places where you get in, play, eat, hand out goodie bags, get out, shell out some cash to the proprietor, and retreat to your nice clean house. We’ve enjoyed partying with the giant mouse and the inflatables in years past, but we had the ultimate little boy birthday party at Adventure Quest Laser Tag in Harahan last weekend, and it was a HUGE success!

If you’ve never been there, file it away in your brain for the next rainy day or boring day-off from school. It’s got an arcade and laser tag (obviously), plus cosmic bumper cars and mini golf. They have three birthday packages at different price points to choose from, depending on how many activities you’re looking for and what extras interest you. Each one includes a private party room, a party attendant, two slices of pizza per guest, unlimited drinks, table settings (plates, cups napkins), cake serving tools (utensils, candles, lighter, knives), a birthday banner, and at least two of the aforementioned activities. This also covers up to 12 guests, with a per guest fee applied to any overage. That fee varies from package to package.

We chose the middle “Treasure” package and purchased the medium sized bundle of video game tokens, which was $50 for 220 tokens. (Please note: we had eight seven-year-old boys, and it barely lasted us until the end of the party!)

As our guests arrived, our very helpful attendant slapped a wristband on them, handed them their tokens, and sent them on their way. As you can imagine, this place can get a little hectic, which is why it’s so awesome that someone else kept up with our itinerary and announced over the PA when and where our party guests needed to go. And each time, the boys would magically appear, like a herd of spastic little monkeys. Our attendant helped serve the kids their lunch, cake, and drinks – and the table would miraculously get cleared afterwards. Our bags of supplies and gifts even found their way to a cart at the conclusion of the party. Amazing!

The kids had an outstanding time, our stress level was very minimal, and we returned to a relatively tidy house, where we could put up our feet and nap for the rest of the afternoon. Name one 1950s housewife who got to enjoy that?! Sometimes progress is a good thing!

For more information, or to book your party, visit http://www.lasertagnola.com/ or call (504) 207-4444.

BIG EASY: Royal Sonesta Round Table... Festival Season Preview Edition

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I love New Orleans and I love Dorothy Parker. So, imagine my excitement when I was invited to the Royal Sonesta to hear all about our fair city's upcoming festival season at this month’s Round Table Luncheon, which was founded in the spirit of New York’s infamous Algonquin Round Table. The invitation promised guest speakers, live entertainment, delicious cuisine, and, “and of course plenty of champagne, Darlings.”

I ask you -- who could say no to that?!

The event took place in the hotel’s gorgeous, newly renovated Fleur De Lis Suite, where we were greeted by a smiling gentleman with a table full of bubbly (and, I'm happy to report, the delightful sound of popping champagne bottles was heard throughout the afternoon).

The best part... the monthly Round Table is hosted by New Orleans Living magazine's ebullient social columnist, Margarita "Darling" Bergen (pictured, right). As well as I’d thought I’d come to know New Orleans, I realized I’m still a babe in the woods when I got an eyeful and earful of the sassy Ms. Margarita. Girlfriend not only knows how to work a fabulous hat, but she works the room like nobody’s business, with a champagne flute in one hand and a microphone in the other. I'm told she knows everyone who's anyone in New Orleans. And she certainly embodies the city's energy. As gracious as she was, she also wasn’t afraid to sternly shush some chatty ladies who weren’t paying attention to the speakers.

Love. Her.

So, on to the festival news…

Marci Schramm, Executive Director of French Quarter Festivals, shared some highlights of the upcoming 29th annual French Quarter Fest, scheduled for April 12-15.

• Coco Robicheaux is playfully featured in this year’s festival poster (pictured, above), by artist Brandon Delles!
• They've added a full fourth day, dubbed Locals’ Lagniappe Day
• There are now 22 music stages, including a new cabaret stage and a traditional jazz stage
• Fireworks are back on Saturday night
• The Children’s Headquarters is expanding to both the Riverfront and the Hermann-Grima House at 610 St. Louis Street
• The kickoff party will be at the House of Blues on Wednesday, April 11 from 6-9pm, featuring singer Robin Barnes.

For a full rundown of events and cool features (like a free shuttle service and smartphone app), visit their site.

Don Marshall, Executive Director of the Jazz and Heritage Foundation discussed the following:

• An economic study showed that Jazz Fest (coming up next month!) is second only to Mardi Gras for cultural events that bring money in to New Orleans – the Saints are third!
• Congo Square Rhythms Festival is this weekend, March 24-25
• Comanche Hunters (Mardi Gras Indians) Big Chief Keith “Ke Ke” Gibson will proudly lead his formidable and always pretty gang from New Orleans’ Ninth Ward during Jazz Fest
• The foundation is stepping up support of middle and high school music programs, including a new program called “Class Got Brass? A High School Brass Band Competition,” which will donate $20,000 worth of instruments to the top three schools that compete

As Terry Verigan, the treasurer of the Tennessee Williams New Orleans Literary Festival spoke, his words were often punctuated by booming thunderclaps, for which he thanked Tennessee! He highlighted the festival’s $1 million economic impact on the city (wow!), and mentioned that tickets to the festival, happening now through March 25, must now be purchased at Hotel Monteleone. Lots of activities, check out the schedule.

After we enjoyed our fabulous lunches and veteran actor and performer Vatican Lokey favored us with some Depression-era tunes (so apropos for the occasion!), the performer who plays adult Simba in The Lion King reminded us that show is going on at the Mahalia Jackson Theater through April 15.

Finally, some lovely Nola doyennes discussed the New Orleans Opera Association's 28th annual Mad Hatter's Luncheon (this year's theme is "Alice") at the Hilton New Orleans Riverside on March 27, as well as the Parkway Promenade, April 1 from 4-7pm, which provides funding for tree planting and beautification projects on public green spaces in Jefferson Parish.

(I'm sure I missed a thing or two but, gimme a break! A girl's gotta sip on that bottomless champagne glass every now and then!)

I have to confess, I bragged shamelessly to my friends in other cities via my personal Facebook page that I’d spent my afternoon surrounded by decadent decor and colorful Nola characters, while being plied with champagne, wine, and fab food. And I got to chat with lovely New Orleans psychic, Cari Roy, the whole time.

They all agreed... Best. City. Ever!

For more information on festivals and other goings-on on New Orleans, please visit www.kidsandfamilyonline.com, and click on the events calendar.

BIG SCREEN: Intruders Revieux (Rated R)

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I’ll be honest. I’ve become a huge chicken in my old age. I’m much more nervous about flying these days, and I no longer crave adrenaline rushes via risky stunts (like skydiving or dating). And horror movies now scare the bejeezus out of me, which is why I was sort of dreading seeing Intruders. Not only is it a scary movie, but it involves a frightening being who tries to possess little kids.

This is the perfect storm for neurotic mommies with furtive imaginations. Like me.

Intruders is the story of two children who live in different countries, but are tormented by the same hooded, faceless creature named Hollowface, who creeps into their rooms at night. No one can see this creature except one of each of their parents, who both feel powerless to protect their children. Clive Owen plays the father of the British girl in this scenario, and everyone begins to question his sanity and parental fitness when a shrink suggests he and his daughter are suffering from shared hallucinations. As the movie progresses, the two storylines converge, revealing the connection between the two families, and their shared link to Hollowface.

Hm. So, the premise is intriguing, and the set-up was adequately eery. Clive is quite the opposite of horrifying to look at, and for the first half of the movie, I was quite nervous. Off to a good start. But, ultimately, this movie just left me hanging. I judge a horror movie – or any movie, for that matter – by how much it “follows” me afterwards. For instance, The Skin I Live In (the last horror film I saw) followed me to WalMart, where I suspected each and every shopper of conducting sadistic human experiments in their basements. That's pretty darn effective.

In my opinion, scary movies should leave you thinking irrationally and feeling paranoid. Intruders left me still trying to unravel the true motives and actual origins of the monster, instead of wondering if it was going to show up in my kid’s closet. And for that, I’m actually grateful.

Bawk bawk.

BIG SCREEN: Salmon Fishing in the Yemen Revieux (Rated PG-13)

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I’ve seen far too many movies lately that jam together unnatural dialogue and not-quite-there (if not desperately lacking) performances in an obvious effort to hurriedly churn out movies that will, hopefully, just rake in some bucks. Blech. And just when I was about to lose faith, along comes what I can only be describe as… a delightful little film.

Salmon Fishing in the Yemen is a sweet story about a charmingly geeky and awkward fisheries expert (Ewan McGregor) who is contacted by a consultant (Emily Blunt) whose client, a filthy rich, but deeply spiritual and philosophical sheik, wants to bring fly-fishing to a Middle Eastern desert. He balks at first, but soon finds there’s more than meets the eye in this seemingly silly, impossible task. It takes on great significance to all involved, and begins to mirror their personal struggles.

Sure, there are some geo-political elements sort of tossed into the mix. Culture clashes figure in. And, yeah, there’s a little humor and a sweet love story. But, it’s not a raucous romantic comedy. It’s not a searing social statement. And it’s not a political thriller.

Instead, it’s about gorgeous sweeping vistas and dry British wit and organic dialogue, and the kind of lovely performances for which director Lasse Halstrom (Chocolat, Cider House Rules) is famous for coaxing from his always-brilliant casts. (Case in point: I could watch an entire movie based solely on Kristin Scott Thomas’ deliciously prickly minor role in this movie.)

Someone told me that Halstrom mentioned in an interview that he wanted this movie to be to the audience like a glass of champagne. How perfect is that? Subtle, effervescent, and pairs well with salmon!

BIG SCREEN: Life Happens Revieux (Rated R)

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What would happen if a 20-something party girl got pregnant, chose to have the baby on her own, and remain in the house with her party buddy roommates?

Life Happens presents an interesting premise, for sure. Having been a 20-something party girl, and now a boring old married mommy, I was curious to see how these two worlds might collide on-screen.

We start off witnessing a fight over the use of the very last condom in the house, then cut to a year later, as new mommy Kim (Krysten Ritter) – who obviously lost that fight -- is struggling to redefine herself within the confines of single mommyhood. In the meantime, her roomies, Deena (Kate Bosworth), an acerbic writer, and Laura (Rachel Bilson), a flighty virgin, have very cheerfully accepted the roles of live-in babysitters. (Apparently, they are saints.) Now, Kim faces a new challenge: trying to reenter the dating scene. She meets a hot dude, omits her parental status, finds herself caught in a web of lies, her friendships begin to unravel, and both hilarity and disillusionment ensue.

Let me say, first and foremost, that this really is a delightful little cast. Talented, amusing, beautiful… they’ve got it all. Except an awesome script. It’s got some really funny moments, but it’s incredibly flawed and disjointed.

One of my biggest issues with this movie was that it seemed to borrow very heavily from the Friends tv series. Really. Almost verbatim from a couple of quite memorable Monica-and-Rachel scenarios. And while I’m certainly one who’s willing to suspend disbelief for the sake of comedy, it’s a little much to accept that this girl Kim is able to afford rent and utilities in a huge house in L.A. (and later, her own bungalow), baby expenses, car expenses, and incidentals on a DOG WALKER’S salary. Plus, the sharing of childcare is one thing, but the presence of a loud, messy, needy little being in the house seems to have barely put a crimp in the roommates’ swinging single lifestyles. Huh? Talk about fantasy!

I really wanted to like this movie because it had potential, but it just lacked focus. What was the point? A cautionary contraceptive tale? A buddy movie about the evolution of friendship as people enter new phases of life? Because either way, it never took any of the conflicts very seriously, and its portrayal of raising a baby on your own was laughable.

Sigh. Maybe I’m just old and unhip -- and too experienced with the truth about babies to appreciate Life Happens. But maybe young, hip writers should stick to what they know. “Life” hasn’t “happened” to them yet, so maybe they should go with conflicts that are less complicated than child-rearing – like boy trouble. Or Israel vs. Palestine.

BIG SCREEN: Meet the Inspiring Talent Behind Louisiana's "Beasts of the Southern Wild"

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I honestly believe that non-natives to South Louisiana provide some of the best perspectives on the unusual, unwieldy, slightly unsettling vibe of this region. And it helps when those non-natives are sort of kooky, creative types with keen powers of observation, and a genuine affection for this place.

The makers of Beasts of the Southern Wild, an independent film that’s been winning film festival awards and getting lots of great industry buzz, took on the rather daunting task of trying to convey the strange and remarkable undercurrent of energy that truly separates this region from the rest of the country, with pretty impressive results. Just as the movie's co-writer, Lucy Alibar suggests, “It’s cinematic, completely visual, and sensory. It does everything that only a movie can do.”

Shot in Terrebonne Parish using local, first-time actors, it’s the story of a young girl named Hushpuppy who lives in a remote, fictional swamp community at the very tip of Louisiana, called The Bathtub. Her mother has long since abandoned her, and her alcoholic, ailing father (Dwight Henry, owner of the Buttermilk Drop Bakery and Café in Mid-City, New Orleans) uses a tough-love approach in preparing his daughter for his death and an impending storm, which is threatening to decimate their home.

At first glance, theirs is a filthy, harsh, bizarre existence, but as the story progresses, with the help of Hushpuppy’s insightful and colorful narration, and a rather unconventional filmmaking style, we begin to appreciate the amazing outlook that the lifestyle and culture has afforded this little girl. It combines mythological elements (prehistoric cave paintings that come to life) with ecological considerations (the destruction of Louisiana’s wetlands, thanks to disruptive levees) and existential ponderings (Hushpuppy often contemplates the unraveling of the fabric of the universe). The outcome is a very primal, yet sort of high-concept representation of the region. Does that sound obtuse and pretentious? Sorry, it’s a multi-layered film that’s a bit hard to describe!

Luckily, I got the chance to speak with the filmmaker, his co-writer, and the star of the movie just before the New Orleans premiere. Each add some much-needed humanity to my clumsy attempt at a synopsis.

After a little prodding, Quvenzhané Wallis, the spunky eight-year-old from Houma, Louisiana, who plays Hushpuppy, sheepishly admits that like any normal kid, she’d rather be spending time with her Yorkshire Terrier and family at home. But she politely responds to a question about the grueling post-production marketing campaign (which has included press junkets and trips down the red carpet in Cannes, L.A., and now New Orleans) by happily chirping, “I want to be positive, it’s all been great and beautiful!”

When I first met Quvenzhané, known as “Nazie” to friends and family, she had casually plopped herself in the director’s lap, and remained there while we chatted. This may sound a little sketchy on paper, but it was actually quite sweet, as Behn Zeitlin is a youthful, moppy-haired 29-year-old who seems more like her big brother than the boss who made her traipse around the swamps for seven weeks.

On the subject of filming the movie, she says, while grinning and hugging Behn’s neck, “It was not boring with this director! And I liked all the animals, except the pig. He was big and fat,” she admits, seemingly struggling to stop herself from holding her nose, as though indicating a possible pork-based hygiene issue would be rude. “And I’m used to the swamp, but I’m not used to the mosquitoes – all the mosquitoes! We don’t have mosquitoes like that in Houma!”

Mosquitos weren’t the only challenges they faced during filming. Guess what oil well in the Gulf of Mexico exploded during day-one of production! Considering the storyline of the movie, I wondered what effect the timing of the BP oil spill disaster would have on the production.

“It definitely felt like life imitating art. It was eery,” Behn explains. “We didn’t want to make a political movie or anything that was about the science of (Hurricane Katrina) or a call to action, but more of an emotional experience of living through an environmental catastrophe.”

And there it was. Right on cue.

Benh has been friends with his co-writer, the aforementioned Lucy Alibar, since they were 13 years old, so their decision to collaborate was an easy one. For this project, they decided to combine elements of Lucy’s imaginative, Southern gothic play, Juicy and Delicious, which is based on her own struggle to come to terms with her father’s declining health, with Behn’s short film, Glory at Sea, which is about a mysterious man who gets people to build a boat using Hurricane Katrina wreckage to rescue loved ones lost at sea. To gain a little insight during the writing process, they moved into a Terrebonne Parish fishing village to observe the language and the general vibe of the locals.

Lucy is a sunny, thoughtful young woman who uses her whole body to speak. When describing her experience in Louisiana, she gets a distant look in her eyes and seems to channel the tides, making wide, fluid motions with her arms. “I had never been to Louisiana before, but it felt like home,“ she admits. Then, she sums up the locals’ style of communication thusly, “They give you the whole world when you ask a simple question.”

Behn conveys a similarly esoteric, feel-don’t-think approach when describing the production. “We cast as we wrote, and we kind of let actors rewrite their roles. We tried to let places and people that are in the film breathe and speak for themselves, and not bring in preconceived notions. We were just trying to… stay back and not force any ideas.”

In speaking with both Benh and Lucy, you can’t help but recognize the heartfelt fondness they feel for this region. Benh has made New Orleans’ Bywater neighborhood his permanent home, while Lucy admits that she’s never felt like a true New Yorker, and she wants to move to New Orleans, as well. I wondered how two writers from New York could connect so quickly and deeply with South Louisiana, then I discovered, they both have roots in the South. Behn’s mom is from South Carolina, while Lucy is originally from South Georgia.

Ah, therein lies the basis for the connection. South Louisiana is like the foreign-born cousin to the Deep South. It’s definitely its own country, but with some decidedly familial Southern threads.

As unique and somewhat odd as it is, Beasts of the Southern Wild probably won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but those who get it, will really appreciate the affection with which this film was made. It taps into and conveys the indescribably energy that locals are born with, and so many of us transplants are so excited to discover.

Beasts of the Southern Wild opens at The Theatres at Canal Place and Prytania Theater on July 4.